A Meaty Perfection

We've been sick, on and off, with winter colds for a couple of months. The weather hasn't helped out much either, varying from cold and rainy to windy and f*#$ing cold. I always like to remedy winter ailments with slow cooked hot meals.

Having absolute fond childhood memories of pot roast and potatoes, I decided I would attempt this feat. It seemed scary at first. I grasped the idea of cooking the root vegetables but how was I going to find a pot roast? Is that what it's even called at the grocery store? I did some searching through my cook books and found that all I had to do was go to the meat counter and ask for a boneless beef roast. So for this huge round slab of de-boned meat, I decided I should go all out. I bought a 4 lb fully organic free-range sirloin roast (I know, I know.).

Within 10 minutes I had all the ingredients assembled and loaded into the crock pot. I turned it on high and left it to do its thing (now that is the type of cooking I like to do!). In the interim, I dyed my hair, took a 2 hour nap, watched football and talked on the phone. The house started to smell like an accomplished chef. Every inch of air smelled like cooking meat and made the dogs, as well as us drool. At the 6 hour mark I took the string off the roast and it magically fell apart. Apparently that is a good sign. After a quick call to my mother for a refresher on how to make gravy, the meal was ready.

I scooped out the steaming hot juicy pieces of meat, potatoes and carrots steamed to perfection and topped it all off with a creamy peppery gravy. I poured a glass of wine and we started chowing down. Oh me oh my, every bite was delectable, not to mention, the lovely comments coming from my husband who was enjoying what he was calling the best man meal he's ever had since he was a kid.

So I did it and that's why I'm writing all this. I cooked a successful meal, a meal my husband loved and I didn't mess it up - not even a little bit. I'd like to say I could do it again, but the statistics prove that is unlikely. So for now, I'm just going to revel in my status as a good cook, even if it is just for today.

Butter Me Up

I can live for two months on a good compliment. ~Mark Twain

Learning to genuinely accept a compliment - takes some training. Usually when I'm complimented I debunk myself. Compliment: Wow this is great homemade soup! Me: Thanks, I should have put more salt in it. Compliment: I like that shirt! Me: Thanks, it helps to cover my ass. There's really no reason to put myself down. I've got learn to accept these accolades with gratitude.

One thing I can say though, is when someone praises or flatters me, it does make me feel good inside, boosts my self-esteem up a notch for the day and lasts on through the night and into the next day. Usually I float on the words until something brings me back down from my buttered-up high. These lauds to my self-esteem come in all different ways. The spoken words, kind smiles and bear hugs are saved in a special compartment of my heart. The written emails or notes are filed under a folder called 'cheers'. On down days, I access these files to remind myself that I am groovy, my actions do make a difference in people's day to day lives. Compassion, heart-felt goodwill and putting in my all into everything, no matter what, always feels satisfying. And when that is sensed by others, and relayed back in a compliment of sorts, it just encourages me to love myself and to keep on keepin on.

Rise and Shine

Though the circular round-and-round of routine be the bulk of life's affairs, make an occasional jutting diversion - of fun, love, or something that will outlast you - so the shape and motion of your life shall resemble the round lifegiving sun with bright rays shining forth from all directions. ~Destin Figuier

There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock. ~Author Unknown

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. ~Author unknown, attributed to Jim Davis

If you follow my blog, if you know me well, you know that I am definitely not a morning person. It is rude and unnatural to disturb a peaceful slumber. That is why for the last 6 years my morning routine has rarely varied. It has to be the same because I do not function well when my body has been thrown off of it's natural rythm by an alarm clock. One thing I always loved about my mornings was that I could get ready for work by myself becauseWarren was off to work at the butt crack of dawn. I'd muddle around the house with my eyes half open, cursing the gods of morning and wishing I could be more like my black lab who rises with ease as the sun pokes it's head above the horizon. He wiggles and shakes in his happiness to have woken up again. It's a brand new day, he says, every god damn single morning. It was a blessing that Warren wasn't here to see me in all my glory. He knows what's good for himself! I could be frustrated all by myself and I was perfectly fine with that.

Then one day, Warren got a new job and his schedule changed. He was now going to work the exact same hours as me,. Which meant of course that he was going to be here in the mornings getting ready with me. Now hear me when I say this - I really want to stay married, but with the way I work in the mornings, or should I say don't work, our love would soon grow stale, if not sour very fast. He would tire of my tragic morning mood and I would be more than ready to vent my pre-dawn frustrations. But I didn't have time to ponder because his new job was starting the next day. I couldn't let him start a new job by waking up to a miserable sourpuss. I held my breath as my alarm went off, sparking and waking up angry nerves in my body. I forced myself to smile but my lips were frozen in a scowl. I had to smile, it was the only thing that was going to get me through this. I kept trying but nothing was happening on my face. Finally, I used both hands to pull my lips into a smile and held it there. Eventually, my cheeks stopped fighting and my heart gave in and I was smiling. God dammit I was smiling at 6am. What the hell. Somehow I made it through the morning in an awkwardly cheerful mood. It became easier every morning. My smile was less forced and I actually looked forward to waking up. It's cool to get ready in the morning with Warren, the morning person. Where before I would have been bitter at any hint of happiness, I am now relishing in it. Without any planning, we naturally worked out a routine where we each get a few minutes of alone time. Time to drink our coffee and space out. It's cool and I really like it.

There have been setbacks. I've slept in a few times, pissed off at the alarm clock and forgetting to put my smile on. But they are fewer and farther apart. Could things be turning a new leaf for me? No, I will never like to be roused from my dreams but I have come to really cherish the time I get to spend with Warren and the dogs in the mornings. Plus it forces me to get up on time because if I don't then everyone is going to be running late. I don't think I have made it out of the house on time in 6 years, until now. So, a change of routine is good now and then, especially when it's unexpected. I'm learning to make friends with mornings although I'd like them better if they started later. It's a slow and sometimes painful process but I'm thinking that maybe we'll be good friends one day.

Absence Makes the Blog Grow Fonder

Pardon my somewhat long absence from the blogosphere but things have been a bit hectic around here. I'll fill you in so put on a pot of brandy, sit downand and let's get started. My writing inefficiencies are due to three main issues that have come knockin at our door - mind you, we did not invite them.

First comes Thanksgiving. We are hanging at my sister's house drinking wine and catching up. We end up waiting a little extra longer than usual for the turkey to finish cooking (yes, it was defrosted the night before). By the time the turkey is done, we are buzzed and hungry. My sister sold her dining room table and turned her dining room into an office/library so we huddle in close together at her tiny kitchen table with the kids at a miniature table next to us. We pass the food around quickly and soon all is quiet as we start shoveling food into our mouths. There's no need to speak we are so hungry. Not a word is said. Ok, well some words were muttered here and there - pass the butter and more potatoes please. Soon we realize that our eyes were bigger than our stomaches and we start to moan. We tell the kids to go play while we recline in silence, holding our bellies, subtly unbuttoning our pants. Eventually we get the table cleared and the dishes washed. A child mentions we forgot to have dessert. No, honey, we didn't forget. We aren't having dessert. Mommy is going to be sick. Warren and I drive home in a semi food induced coma. Once in the confines of my home, I rush to slip out of my nice clothes and into my sweats. I sit on the couch drinking water and sucking on tums. The next morning I punish myself with an hour and a half walk. I take the dogs up to the mountain where we walk and walk and walk until I feel I have walked off every calorie. I'm feeling better as we drive over to Warren's aunt's house for our second thanksgiving dinner. I've already mentally prepared myself for tonight. Just a little of everything and stop before I'm full. I'm proud of myself as we drive home, I didn't overdo it. I spend the rest of the holiday weekend working out.

Second comes Sports. It's a busy time of year, you remember - basketball and football are in full swing. This year has brought our teams some seriously messed up karma. Our beloved Favre who is having his best year ever, throws 3 interceptions and has the worst game of his career. The Steelers lose their 4th game in a row in very lackluster performances and the Blazers lose key players Oden, Rudy and Outlaw to injuries for the rest of the season. These sports crisis are overwhelming and painful. We discuss them at length with family, friends and eachother - analyzing and strategizing with what's left of our teams and morning our losses.

Third and finally, two essential household items decide they no longer wish to live - our furnace and our computer. Our computer perished first. It caught a nasty winter virus that it could not fight. I decided to humanely put it down until my brother-n-law Daryl sent me a new operating system which flushed out the germs and now, as you can see, is as good as new. Then, on a wintry 21 degree night, we arrive home from work to find our heater blowing cold air. We called every oil furnace repair shop near and far but all their service men were already booked overnight, fixing those furnaces who called first for help. So we borrowed space heaters from our neighbor, put on our long underwear and hats, covered all the pipes and set all the faucets on drip. The 3 space heaters kept us from freezing although we blew a fuse every couple of hours. We had a 3 dog night and actually ended up staying pretty warm.

Needless to say, I've been a little distracted. I haven't forgotten about blogging, in fact, I've written more than a dozen in my head over the last couple of weeks. However, I've either been preocupied with winter sports woes, too full, too cold or lacking technology to write. So, I'm back. Put on another pot of brandy because the stories are about to begin.

Winter Maladies

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. ~Kin Hubbard

Winter's in Oregon are long and drawn out, damp, and cold. That's why I'm almost positive that we have the most alcoholics, the most bars with home brews per capita, the most overweight people, and the most home remedies for winter maladies that strike our sun-deprived souls. Depression strikes a lot. I mean who isn't depressed when you can't remember the last time you saw the sun. So we try to remedy our seasonal sadness by drinking with eachother in smokey bars. The velvety rich specials brews along with the greasy appetizers make the waist-lines expand. Often times we find ourselves rundown and laden with colds we'd worked so hard to avoid. 'Tis time to prepare for a battle. An herbal assault is waged against these winter micro-organisms.

Every person owns the patent for the secret to winter health. No two tonics are alike and probably differ widely outside of this lush green state of Oregon. However, there are two categories they all fall into: Prevent sickness and treat sickness. Basically we want to put off getting sick for as long as we can so we boost our immunity ahead of time, usually right after summer has left us and fall has just barely begun. We are northwesterners and we believe in our natives, thus we commence with tinctures of elderberry for strengthening our respiratory systems, western red cedar for increasing our white blood cells, oregon grape to purify our liver, and st johns wort to increase our happiness. Of course we include other non-natives like echinacea to increase resistance to viral invasion, goldenseal to ward off bacteria, and astragalus for deep and long immunity. We take in large amounts of vitamin C, eat extra kale and swiss chard, and exercise plenty. However, when we do succumb, we cannot wait to share our long lost family secrets to wellness or the latest trend which aids in decreasing the time we are convalescing.

If you are sick, I can supply you with not just the aforementioned therapies but I can let you in on some ancient secrets that will help ease your misery. If you're nose is plugged up, I know steam treatments and homeopathics that work well in draining cavities. If you have a cough I can ease it with coltsfoot and herbal cough remedies. If you crave a tincture that will make you sweat, sleep and feel good, if only temporarily, I will make you a whiskey-cayene hot toddy. I know two good ways to jump start your immune system - alternating hot and cold in the shower on your chest and going to bed with wet wool socks under dry cotton ones. Most of these are tried and true, by yours truly. However, there are a few that I have not had the opportunity to assess yet.

I always get a taste of my own medicine. If I am sick, all I want to do is lay under the covers and moan. The last thing I want to do is adhere to a wellness routine. Drink water? Forget it. I need a hamburger and salty fries because I can't taste anything with my plugged up nose. Sure I'll take my herbs and steam in the shower, that is, after I moan a while longer and try to sleep through my misery. But someone well-meaning soul will always ask me if I am following my own advice to get better. After which I will drag my sorry ass into the kitchen on a more regular basis to down my tinctures, swallow my hot toddies, then into the bathroom to submerge myself in hot steam.

This week I was completely laid out with an early winter cold. My husband being on the mend from the week before, probably thanks to my healthful advice, asked me if I was going to do the wet sock thing. The wet sock thing - oh you mean the thing that you wouldn't try when you were sick? Ah yes, but you did take my spoonfuls of cough syrup and chew the vitamin c and take shots of my herbal juice drinks. Ok, yes, I will take my own damn advice. I will wear the wet socks to bed. It seriously wasn't that bad. It was actually very soothing, relaxing and refreshing at the same time. And it was true, I woke up to completely dry socks. And I did feel a lot better.

I am back among the living now and I've just cracked open a winter ale to wash down my pizza as the weekend begins. It's forecasted to be cold and rainy for another 4 or 5 months. I'll be sure that tomorrow I remember to pick up that chinese herb my chiropractor told me about. He hasn't been sick in 3 years since taking it. And yes, I need to get a six-pack of that 100 proof holiday ale that is sold at only this time of year. Ah, I can see the crusade to achieve optimum winter health physically and mentally has begun, again.

A Loaded Holiday

Happy-We-Stole-Your-Land-And-Killed-Your-People-Day!

~Thanksgiving toast, from the Movie Sweet November

I have serious trouble with the American Thanksgiving holiday. I think that over the hundreds of years, the real reasons for this holiday have become blurred and eventually forgotten.

Now don't get me wrong. I see nothing wrong with celebrating the fact that we are thankful for eachother and that we cook a wonderful meal and celebrate in thanks with family and friends. In fact, I relish in the family time the holiday offers and believe we should always be thankful to the spirits. But everytime I see a little thanksgiving nativity scene of pilgrims and indians feasting peacefully together, I want to throw up my pumpkin pie.

All I'm saying is that in a couple of weeks, when we sit down to bless our food, that we say a prayer of thanks that the circle of life continues and send a blessing of love to the original inhabitants of this land. And when a glass is raised in toast, our libations are about teaching the truth and making peace with the past.

A Day of Sentiments

Go the extra mile. It's never crowded. ~Author Unknown

For someone who makes sure her schedule has plenty of downtime, Saturday was a rare exception. Not only was my day packed, but I traveled plenty of emotional miles. I awoke quite luxoriously (in otherwords, without my alarm clock) only to remember too soon that I needed to get going. After a long walk with the dogs in what appeared was going to be a gorgeous day, a quick pick up of the house and a couple of cups of coffee, it all began. They clouds turned dark and the sky opened up in a monsoon of torrent winds and pounding rain. An omen?

Not long after, my sister arrived with her husand and my 2 month old neice who were here from out of town for just a couple of hours. The purpose of their trip - to place their dog into the hearts and hands of a new family. As the rains flooded the streets and the storm flew in, they made the exchange quickly and arrived back at our house, soaked in tears. When their sorrow subsided a bit, we celebrated a long waited reunion with eachother as I held and pampered my plump little neice. They couldn't stay long but as I watched them drive away, it seemed like this moment in time had been a gift for my soul.

Before we knew it we were on the go again, this time headed for my other sister's house to celebrate my nephew's 15th birthday. As we drove onto the free way, the sun boldly pushed it's way through the gray creating the most beautifully intense double rainbow. The rainbow followed us for a while until I saw what it was telling me. There could be beauty even amongst storms.

At my sister's house, were my parents and my other sister. We celebrated this birthday with homemade chili, garlic bread and chocolate cake. I danced in a tiara with my neice, chased my nephews around the house, and coaxed the 15-year old into some camera shots with smiles. The house was crowded and the noise level was high. But every inch was filled with love and laughter. I relished in it.

When we arrived home, we had just begun to wind down when our evening company arrived, cousin Rae and her Peruvian love. We sat in the garage together around our new bar table amongst bottles of wine and beer, cigarettes, candles and music. We commiserated about life, laughed about our day, and ate lots of Tims jalepeno chips - all the while our dogs were chewing our couch pillows to shreds. Another celebration was in order, for Rae and Juan Carlos had announced their plans to marry eachother. Our fiesta turned to cheers of declared love.

As the evening wound down and our company departed, I sat relaxing in Warren's arms as we listened to a Bob CD as the storm outside continued. The rains would not cease today and I had no expectation anymore that they would. Today's weather was not an omen. Today's weather was a reflection of the day. As busy and as chaotic as it had been, the day was ultimately fulfilling. Every event today was a colorful mix of mournings, celebrations, miracles, and sacrifices. I easily gave every part of myself today, experienced a flood of emotions and I felt strangely at peace. I immersed my being into the lives of others and in doing so, my packed calendar was not so overbearing anymore. Yes, my downtime was at an all time low today, but the extra mile was worth everything.