(not using proper punctuation tonight). i have a little bit of angst in me. i always do this time of year, mid september. the hot dry month of august is over, the sky sends down mists of rain here and there, the sun makes less daily appearances and the warm yet slight cool winds roll in. yet i can still wear my flip flops and get away without a sweatshirt at night.
i'm just not ready to give up my summer freedom yet. i love drinking my coffee in the backyard on weekday mornings, watching the sun rise as the dogs noses rise to read the morning air. i sit barefoot in the evenings out by the fire or i wander down to the neighbors with my hair in a bun on top of my head, shorts and glass of wine. no hesitation. it's all about a level of comfortableness that is thoroughly and satisfyingly achieved with ease. but that is all about to change and everyone senses it.
the mornings are little cooler, night falls slightly earlier than usual, and the internal debate is on if i need a sweatshirt or not or if i should put that warmer blanket on the bed at night. it's a little bit of denial and a little sense of excitement. the winds of change are near. if the seasons did not change, neither would we. it is time to prepare, it is an instinctual time. gather the harvests, stock up on necessities, begin to modify our wardrobes, all with the feeling of an eventual slowdown, a sort of hibernation you could say.
it's good that things don't stay the same. it makes me stronger and more aware of my surroundings. every shift in the seasonal climate affects me. i look forward to the different pace as much as i silently refuse to acknowledge it. summer time to me is when i get to be fully me, in the au naturale. hair long and wild, tanned arms and legs, barefeet, sundresses, skirts and tanktops. a light glow from the heat of the mid summer sun and fans blowing in every room. it is intoxicatingly lazy, for the overwhelming heat of the day prohibits you from doing a thing. that is my nature. my toes are never scrubbed clean and my nails have a permanent case of garden dirt tones.
yet if things stayed that way, there would be nothing to continually awake my senses, alerting me to pay attention and prepare for a change. i am just as much comfortable in my summer skin as i am in my fall, winter and spring skins. it's just the settling into and accepting of the coming cooler season that is troublesome at first. there's a secret in the air now. it is the wind that will carry any lingering troubles away and breathe the change with me. and soon, it will be just as fun to drink my my morning coffee bundled up warm in my robe and long socks, snuggled next to my husband, my dogs and of course, the heater.