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06 November 2009

The Land of Tears

Let your tears come. Let them water your soul. ~Eileen Mayhew

I must have been tense. No, I know I was tense and irritable. I could have blamed it on PMS but really it was much more than that. Warren offered to give me backrub. In fact, he offers backrubs to me every night and I would be a fool to turn him down. But tonight when he offered, I resisted. I didn't want to feel better. Only because I knew I was a volcanoe ready to blow, I finally gave in. As his strong hands massaged my rock hard shoulders, I slowly resigned myself to feeling better. But with each kneading, I could feel overwhelming emotion building up and filling every inch of my cellular makeup. I swallowed hard, choking it back and in the process tensed up again. Dang it, I was going to have to let the monster loose. Instead of tensing, I exhaled and along with each movement of pressure, a tear was released. Over and over until tears were silently streaming down my face. Each tear that escaped me was leaving my heart a little bit lighter. When Warren saw my tears he gathered me into his arms and told me it was all ok. Even though my circumstances had not changed at all and I cried until the tears had decided they were done, I was well again and I could smile. Every now and then I visit the land of tears where the salty water flows freely and emotions are entrusted to another. I should not delay my trip so long next time!

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