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10 December 2009

Rise and Shine

Though the circular round-and-round of routine be the bulk of life's affairs, make an occasional jutting diversion - of fun, love, or something that will outlast you - so the shape and motion of your life shall resemble the round lifegiving sun with bright rays shining forth from all directions. ~Destin Figuier

There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock.
~Author Unknown

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.
~Author unknown, attributed to Jim Davis

If you follow my blog, if you know me well, you know that I am definitely not a morning person. It is rude and unnatural to disturb a peaceful slumber. That is why for the last 6 years my morning routine has rarely varied. It has to be the same because I do not function well when my body has been thrown off of it's natural rythm by an alarm clock. One thing I always loved about my mornings was that I could get ready for work by myself becauseWarren was off to work at the butt crack of dawn. I'd muddle around the house with my eyes half open, cursing the gods of morning and wishing I could be more like my black lab who rises with ease as the sun pokes it's head above the horizon. He wiggles and shakes in his happiness to have woken up again. It's a brand new day, he says, every god damn single morning. It was a blessing that Warren wasn't here to see me in all my glory. He knows what's good for himself! I could be frustrated all by myself and I was perfectly fine with that.

Then one day, Warren got a new job and his schedule changed. He was now going to work the exact same hours as me,. Which meant of course that he was going to be here in the mornings getting ready with me. Now hear me when I say this - I really want to stay married, but with the way I work in the mornings, or should I say don't work, our love would soon grow stale, if not sour very fast. He would tire of my tragic morning mood and I would be more than ready to vent my pre-dawn frustrations. But I didn't have time to ponder because his new job was starting the next day. I couldn't let him start a new job by waking up to a miserable sourpuss. I held my breath as my alarm went off, sparking and waking up angry nerves in my body. I forced myself to smile but my lips were frozen in a scowl. I had to smile, it was the only thing that was going to get me through this. I kept trying but nothing was happening on my face. Finally, I used both hands to pull my lips into a smile and held it there. Eventually, my cheeks stopped fighting and my heart gave in and I was smiling. God dammit I was smiling at 6am. What the hell. Somehow I made it through the morning in an awkwardly cheerful mood. It became easier every morning. My smile was less forced and I actually looked forward to waking up. It's cool to get ready in the morning with Warren, the morning person. Where before I would have been bitter at any hint of happiness, I am now relishing in it. Without any planning, we naturally worked out a routine where we each get a few minutes of alone time. Time to drink our coffee and space out. It's cool and I really like it.

There have been setbacks. I've slept in a few times, pissed off at the alarm clock and forgetting to put my smile on. But they are fewer and farther apart. Could things be turning a new leaf for me? No, I will never like to be roused from my dreams but I have come to really cherish the time I get to spend with Warren and the dogs in the mornings. Plus it forces me to get up on time because if I don't then everyone is going to be running late. I don't think I have made it out of the house on time in 6 years, until now. So, a change of routine is good now and then, especially when it's unexpected. I'm learning to make friends with mornings although I'd like them better if they started later. It's a slow and sometimes painful process but I'm thinking that maybe we'll be good friends one day.

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