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21 April 2010

The Itchy Scratchies

I've been homebound since last Sunday night when I noticed the beginnings of a rash on my belly and arms.  Monday morning I awoke completely covered from the ears to my toes in tiny little red bumps.  Those little red bumps itch like mother fuckers.  Pardon my language but I can't find any other word to describe it.  I've been spending every waking hour with no sleep itiching every crevice of my body - ears, neck, armpits, arms, shoulders, back, and legs.  Luckily for me, the rash has so far neglected to infest my face, scalp or private parts, thank the good lord above for that one.  Just so you know, you can quit reading now if you want.  I'm not going to censor myself in this post in case you haven't noticed yet. 

And yes, I saw a doc first thing Monday morning.  She took 6 viles of blood to test for food allergies which have been a pain in my ass lately and also to test for lupus - the skin condition type of lupus that goes along with a rash and achey joints.  Of course, I won't know for a week what's wrong with me so I sit here, itching the minutes away.  I'm going back to the doc tomorrow to try to see if we can figure this out once and for all.  Could it be shingles?  scabies?  some unknown disease? I don't know but I do know that I want to stop the itching and stop it NOW.  I'm known for my remedies and I've tried them all to no avail - creamy oatmeal body rubs, tea tree oil slathers, prescription antihistamines, creams, homeopathics, vodka, etc...  Nothing works long term, yeah, I may get 10 minutes of relief but then it's back to itching.  I'm not getting even slightly better and if anything, I feel slightly manic now.  I can't sit still, I can't sleep, I can only itch and itch and itch.  It's wrong, fucking horribly wrong to itch like this. 

I don't feel sick.  I have no fever.  I'm not stressed.  I could even run 10 miles just to get the heebie jeebies outta me.  So, I sit and wait.  I wait for test results, I wait for relief, I wait for respite.   And meanwhile, I itch, and itch, and itch....

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