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24 November 2010

Divine Bitchyness

The alarm went off this morning and the first thing I thought was damn.  I rolled over and decided to blank it all out and go back to sleep.  But the pissed off feeling grew and I knew there was no getting out of today so I got up. 

Thankfully my lovely husband had already made coffee so I poured myself what is normally my cup of happiness and sat down to watch the stupid morning news.  What is wrong with me?  Its my day off, I can do anything I want but all I want to do is punch holes in the walls.  I'm angry, more than that, I'm seriously pissed off.  Why, you ask?  I don't know.  I don't fucking know.  Maybe it's because I'm having my period which seems to usually be where the bad feelings stem from.  Who really cares at this point. 

The morning news anchors began to recount the drama of the evening before with frigid uncaring faces.  I found myself wanting to kick them in the stomaches so I turned off the tv and headed for the computer where I can at least pick and choose the news I catch up on in silence.  But not this morning.  In a world where new technology is obsolete only a few months after purchase, our computer would be considered to be a relic from the ice age.  For one, it has no wireless capabilities so we have installed a small satelite device that picks up on the signals around us.  This works about 60% of the time, and this morning was the other 40%. You catching my drift?  No internet.  Fine, screw the news anyway.  I resorted to sitting in fuming silence while I nursed my now luke-warm cup of joe. 

Maybe I needed a god damn long walk up the mountain by my house.  To stay warm in the 19 degree morning heat wave, I put on layers and took to the hills.  Apparently this was not going to go well for me either.  Black ice patches kept me sliding around and 3 times almost landing on my ass.  Can we just start this day over please?  What the fuck is up with the star alignment today? Is the moon stuck in a phase?  Was the planet rotation temporarily side tracked?  After I was sure the dogs had gotten enough fresh air, I headed home determined to somehow find an outlet for my frustration other than beating the frozen ground with my fists. 

I locked the dogs up and turned on a work out program on the tv.  As I started to sweat, I started to get even more pissed.  The more the workout lady said 'keep it up, you can do it', the more I started to swear at her.  With each weight lifted, an expletive aimed at the universe flew from my lips.  Over and over and over until I was swearing in time with the exercises.  After 45 minutes of sweating and swearing, I did the cool down and laid there on my mat huffing and puffing.   I was spent and shaky but I was also in a much better frame of mind.  

There are many ways to get through days that are not on your side but I've never had much luck with any of them, except for a sweaty swearing work out.  It does a dually good job of working out both the mind and the body.  Now that I've had my temper tantrum for the day, I think I can go on.  In fact, I am starting over.  I brewed a fresh pot of cofee, put on my sweats and warm socks and have selected a movie to get lost in over the course of the next few hours.  I'm not feeling 100% but my bitchyness is more centered and divine.  Enough so that I can relax my shoulders, loosen my jaw and let the weight of the world sit on someone elses shoulders for a while.

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